ever had one of those days?

soooo... can we say stress? that's pretty much been my life for the past week or so. fun fun fun. see, in design, they love seeing students squirm, so they make ALL the projects due ALL at the same time. :P nah... i'm not bitter really.. just tired.

so today was definitely one of those days. after not sleeping all night cuz i was working on a project and writing an essay simulataneously, i was going to take the GO bus to school. 'course it took me FOREVER to find a parking space and actually PARK, and by the time i got out and was going over to the stop i see my bus pull away from the curb. frantically running after it as it stopped for another student further down the road as they got dropped off, i came to the conclusion that this is just one of those days. i waited another 40 mins for the next bus to come and then ran to hand in my paper before my prof left (i hope i don't get docked late marks). sigh... stress stress stress...

amidst all this stress, there IS peace. believe it or not. so after missing the GO bus, i was pretty much kickin myself in the butt for bein so slow and dumb and what not, and realized that i really should just get down on my knees and pray. minus the getting down on ur knees, that's just what i did.... just prayed and claimed this day for God, asking Him to help me so that this entire day doesn't go bad cuz of a few misfortunes and a lack of sleep. upon saying AMEN (in my head mind you), i immediately felt a wave of peace. it was incredible. of course, the nagging voice about missing the bus and the constant worries and anxieties about school were still in the back of mind, but every time they surfaced, i just said a l'il prayer. so there you have it... prayer works. :D

btw... PRAISE GOD that i actually got all my stuff done. it was humanly impossible to get so much work done in such a short time span. no matter how many different ways i thought about it and scheduled it, etc. it just didn't seem likely that things would get done. yet, somehow, some way, by His grace, i got it done AND got to take a 2 hr nap. whoo!!! praise Him! :D anyhow.... hoping that all my work wasn't for nothing and that His name will be glorified through it all. as for now, i get to REST... YAY REST!!! :)

welps, i'm out for now... gotta go veg and catch up on sleep. 11 hrs of sleep in 4 days can't be healthy.

*relieve stress, take a prayer break*

What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.

But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?

The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

romans 7:15-25

* workin on the FAITH thing *

We live by faith, not by sight.
2 corinthians 5:7

Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
matthew 21:21-22

wowzas... havn't done this in an uber-long time. what can i say? summer? what summer??? i'm taking psych 1010 correspondence, so i'm not gettin much of a summer... for me, summer officially starts on Aug. 6... ack! and we don't get that extra week before school starts like we useta... WE START SCHOOL W/ EVERYONE ELSE!!! waaahhhh!!!
neways... i'm pretty much living @ mitchells this summer. if anyone needs to find me... i'll be at 565 Gordon Baker Rd. hahahah.. oh my. softball's a blast... we're doing surprisingly well.. PRAISE GOD!!! as for the spiritual stuff... God's doin a lotta teaching.. mosta which has been happening recently... i guess overall it's a good thing.. but it ain't exactly pleasant.. u know, gettin put through the refining fire and what not. arritey... enuff stallin, i betta get back 2 studying...eeewwww.. mental note: never take summer school again.. not until august.. :( ciaos!!! (what else am i up to?? missin smo this week.. :'( but i'll survive... )

okay, it's been ages since i've touched this. since my last blog, i've successfully finished my first year of university.. yayy!!! and now well into summer school.. boooo!!! but actually truth: it's not that bad.. i'm doing psych correspondence so i dun hafta go to school for class or nething but i DO hafta go in and write 4 exams and the course runs all the way till august... which is no fun. :( but ah wellz... lesson learned... next year i'll only take one that runs till june.

anyways... these days i'm feelin more contemplative. no idea why... maybe a part of growing up? all of a sudden i'm pensive and what not ... thinkin too much and all that. :) arritey... enuff blabbering. i should get back to rding and doing stuff... (for anyone that still checks up on this.. thx! hahaha.. i know it's been boring. :P )

God bless, take care.


i know i break your heart
oh Lord, my God
with everything i do
that's not of You
i need You to come
i need your blood
to wash over me

wash over me
cleanse my sin
make me pure
Lord from within
*work in progress?*

hmm.. where can i start? so far school starting up again has been... interesting. it seems a l'il more enjoyable this semester, despite the fact that i have three 8:30am classes, but i guess it's arrite.. means that i finish classes earlier. anyways... moving on to more of the spiritual stuff, which i guess i havn't really mentioned in a while... i've realized within the past couple of days or so that i probably don't love God as much as i should... and as much as i say i do. isn't that a stunning revelation??? it's actually kind of scary... cuz then it kinda throws off everything that i've been thinkin like nearly all my life. i guess to put it in simpler terms, i gotta re-evaluate what my priorities are and where my loyalties lie. *sigh* i'm getting there though. rest assured, i'm making my baby steps back to the path of passion and purity.

arritey, i woke up an hour later than i wuz supposed to and i really need to get some work done, so i should really get going. for those reading this... just pray for me. thx a billion....